One Piece Randomness
by Deji-Suta
Summary: short oneshots of total randomness! HogwartShinobi I'm not copying, just random thoughts cross our minds and we put them uppls r&r!
1. A Fruity Story

Disclaimer: We don't own One Piece! Oda-sensei does.

De-Ji: (walks into kitchen)

Zoro: (eating strawberries) poke, stab, kill! (looks over at De-Ji) so I talk to my food, so what?

De-Ji: ok… (starts eating watermelon) you gonna die mizumelon!

Luffy: (has a lemon in his hand)

Suta: (has a cherry in her hand)

Luffy: (wiggles lemon) I AM THE EVIL LEMON, FEEL MY WRATH!

Suta: (wiggles cherry) (high-pitched voice) oh no! somebody save me!

Luffy: (all of a sudden has a banana) (deep dramatic voice) I'll save you!

Suta: (still high-pitched voice) oh, my hero!

Zoro: I'm takin' you down, watermelon!

De-Ji: nu-uh! I'll get you first, strawberry!

Nami: (walks in) these people are mental…

Usopp: (runs in with a mango) I AM THE GREAT CAPTAIN MANGO!

Chopper: (holding an apricot) and I am his trusty side kick, the amazing apricot!

Nami: there's no hope…

Robin: I get the game! (pulls out a plum) I am the pleasurable plum! (whispers to Nami) just play along.

Nami: (whiny voice) Ro-bin! Okay… but you are all paying me 100 belis for this! (runs out and grabs a tangerine) I am the beautiful princess tangerine!

Sanji: (holding pineapple) I am the prince pineapple! Princess tangerine, will you become my queen?

Luffy: banana banana no… punch! AH the lemon is going do-wn!

Suta: you're the greatest hero ever!

Usopp: no, the great captain mango is!

Luffy: oh, so you want to fight eh?

Usopp: yes, I have fought 100 million bananas before!

Chopper: SUGOI!!

Franky: (bursts in holding a can of cola) I AM THE GREAT COCA-COLA!

Everyone: that's not a fruit!

Franky: It's fruit punch flavored!

Everyone: doesn't count!


	2. Sniffers

Disclaimer: We don't own One Piece! Oda-sensei does.

sniffers

Luffy: (opens the door to Suta's room)

Suta: … (has hair on nose) can't a girl sniff her hair in privacy?!

Luffy: (closes door) … (walks into the men's quarters) (tries to sniff his bangs, but they're too short) (slaps hand on nose and takes a deep whiff)

Zoro: WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?! (sniffs katana)

De-Ji: (pops out of no where) YOU CAN'T GO AROUND SNIFFING THINGS!! (notices pencil in hand) (sniff sniff)

Zoro: oi…


	3. Low Self Esteem

Disclaimer: We don't own One Piece! Oda-sensei does.

Sanji: (is holding drinks for the ladies on board) here is your drink, De-Ji-chan!

De-Ji: I'm not pretty, why would you like me?

Sanji: (is shocked out of his mind)

Zoro: (opens an eye) whatever.

Nami: (whack) you are too!

De-Ji: ow! What did you hit me for?

Luffy: (looks around) ah! A fly!

Suta: catch it!

Luffy: Ok! (runs after the fly)

Zoro: just like I'm not handsome.

De-Ji: (whack) you are not ugly!

Zoro: WHAT DID YOU WHACK ME FOR?

Luffy: AHH! RUN! IT'S A BEE! (starts running around the ship)

Suta: AAHHHH!!! (follows Luffy)

Luffy: AHH!! A wasp nest! Ru—nn!! (starts running faster)

Suta: Luffy!! Wait!! It's on your head!!

Luffy: That's why it's so dark!!

Suta: Hold still while I get it off!! (attempts to release Luffy's head)

Luffy: O-okay…

(awhile later)

Luffy and Suta: (walks towards crew)

De-Ji: Chopper, Luffy needs to be treated for wasp stings

Chopper: ok! (starts treating Luffy's stung head)

(when Chopper is done)

Suta: AA—HH! A MUMMY! (runs)

Luffy: no, wait! It's me, Luffy!! (chases Suta)

Suta: aa-hh! Everyone, Luffy turned into a mummy!!! (runs faster)

Everyone except Luffy and Suta: Oi…(sweat drop)


	4. Chocolate

Disclaimer: We don't own One Piece! Oda-sensei does.

Luffy and Suta: HA HO WAH HEE HA HOHOHO!!!

De-Ji: GO CLIMB MOUNT WANNAHACKALOOGI(sp?)!!!

Luffy and Suta: Okay!!! (island appears out of no wheres) (jumps off)

De-Ji: WAAAHHHHH!!!! HOW DID THAT GET THERE?!

Luffy and Suta: (at top) WEEEEEE!!!!!

Zoro: HOW DID THEY DO THAT SO FAST???!!!

Usopp: I gave them chocolate…. A LOT of chocolate.

De-Ji: DO YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU JUST DID??!!

Usopp: No…

Zoro: YOU JUST DOOMED US ALL!!

Everyone: (cricket…cricket) AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! (runs around aimlessly)


	5. Explosive Farts

Disclaimer: We don't own One Piece! Oda-sensei does.

Luffy and Suta: FART!!!!!! (releases explosion) (explosion blows the Merry up) (while sinking) oops… (many and large bubbles break the surface of the water)

De-Ji: (is being held up by Zoro) THAT IS SICK AND WRONG!!! Zoro, save them.

Zoro: but I'm holding you!

De-Ji: oh oh right right. Usopp save them!

Usopp: I have Chopper!

De-Ji: Oh, Sanji! Save them!

Sanji: (heart eye) I've got Robin-chwan!

De-Ji: oh right. Hmmm…

Nami: I have an idea!... Let them die!

Chopper: How can you be so cruel?!!!

Luffy and Suta: (snore…snore) (readers note: It was a dream)

Usopp: Well, my brain enhancing device didn't work. They'll just be farting for the rest of the day.

Luffy: (phft….thhhhhhhhh!) (reader's note: That was a fart)

Usopp: Oh! That was whispy!

De-Ji: IF THAT'S TRUE, THEN I'M THROWING YOU OVERBOARD!!!

Usopp: Eep!


	6. Luffy's Lonely

Disclaimer: We don't own One Piece! Oda-sensei does.

Luffy: (clicks the play and a song starts) I'm so lonely! I have nobody! All on my own!! T.T

Nami: WOULD YOU TURN THAT OFF!!!

Luffy: B-But im so lonely!! Suta's gone!!!

De-Ji: poor Luffy! (hugs Luffy)

Nami: She went to the bathroom you dork!!!

Luffy: I know T.T

De-Ji: say what? (stops hugging Luffy) dork…

Nami: YOU CAN'T FOLLOW HER EVERY WHERE!!!

Luffy: That's why I play the music!

Suta: Ahhh! Im done!!

Luffy: YAY!! (glomps) I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!!

Suta: I MISSED YOU TOO!!

Nami: Oh my stars… I can imagine Suta on the pot crying for Luffy. That's scary…

Zoro: oh brother. The perfect couple.

De-Ji: yay Zoro! (glomps Zoro)

Zoro: get off of me you freak!

De-Ji:3 strawberries? (holds up basket of strawberries)

Zoro: you've convinced me! (glomps De-Ji for the strawberries)


	7. Pinecone Showdown

Disclaimer: We don't own One Piece! Oda-sensei does.

-In the middle of some forest-

Zoro and De-Ji: (in hammock together) (gets hit by a pinecone)

Luffy and Suta: BULLS EYE!!

Zoro: Why did we do a double date again?

De-Ji: I don't know.

Zoro: WHY DON'T YOU TWO BUZZ OFF OR SETTLE DOWN?? WE'RE TRYING TO HAVE A ROMANTIC DATE!!!

De-Ji: (giggles)

Luffy and Suta: . ROMANTIC?? BLEH!!! WEIRDOS!!! (throws more pinecones)

Zoro: WOULD YOU TWO STOP IT!! ITS SO ANNOYING!!!

De-Ji: (looks at pinecone she was ready to throw)heh heh! (puts it behind her back)

Zoro and De-Ji: (gets buried under pinecones)

Zoro: OH ITS ON!!! (runs behind a tree)

De-Ji: (squats behind a bush)

Luffy and Suta: WHOO HOO!!! (starts throwing them so fast they're arms are blurred) YAHYAHYAHYAHYAHYAHYAHYAHYAYHAYAHYAHYAHYAHYAHYAH!!!!

Zoro: GAHH!!!! (buried again)

De-Ji: SWEET CRAZINESS!!!

Zoro: (jumps out of the pile)

Luffy: Ok Commander! He raised from the dead! SHOOT HIM DOWN AGAIN!!!

Suta: SIR YES SIR!!! (throws)

De-Ji: GAH!!!

Zoro: (sweat drop) I thought they were aiming at me...

De-Ji: (climbs out) IM ALIVE!!!

Zoro: (tackles De-Ji into the brush) Ok, we'll stock up and hit them!!

De-Ji: (looks at the two giant piles) Well I think we have enough.

Luffy and Suta: BOMBARDMENT!! BOMBARDMENT!! BOMBARDMENT!!!!

Zoro and De-Ji: (ducks again)

Zoro: On the count of three! One!... two!... three!

Zoro and De-Ji: WHA-??!!!!! (jaws drop)

Luffy and Suta: (has machine guns and bazookas) LOCKED AND LOADED!!!

Zoro: WHERE DID YOU GET THOSE??!!!

Luffy and Suta: Lets just say we know a certain someone! (chipmunks chitter in the background) FIRE!!! (shoots at them)

Zoro and De-Ji: HEY!! THOSE ARE ACORNS!!! AND THEY HURT A LOT!!!

Luffy and Suta: Acorns?? Hey! (empties them and fill them with pinecones) HAHA!!!

Zoro: Hurry De-Ji!! Air strike!!!

De-Ji: Got it!! (turns into a hawk) (starts to circle and drop acorns)

Luffy and Suta: HEY!!! OWOWOWOWOWOW!!!! THOSE ARE- OWOWOWOWOWOW!! ACORNS!!

Zoro: PAY BACK!!!

Suta: Luffy! Get out the BAZOOKA!!!!

Luffy: (has bazooka on shoulder) WAY AHEAD OF YOU!!!

De-Ji: NANI??!!! THAT'S GONNA LEAVE A MARK!!!

Zoro: DE-JI!!!

Luffy: (BOOM!!!)

Suta: YEA!! HIGH FIVE!!!

Luffy: (slaps her raised hand)

De-Ji: (Drops down) (Zoro catches her)

Zoro: BAKAS!!! WHAT IF SHE GOT REALLY HURT??!!! Are you ok??

De-Ji: Yea.

Zoro: (Puts her down)

De-Ji: (rips off Zoros shirt) WE SURRENDER!!!

Zoro: NO WE DONT!! (grabs shirt back) YOU RIPPED IT!!!

De-Ji: Oh Sorry it the only thing we have that's white.

Zoro: Wanna bet??!!

De-Ji: O.o Lets not go there!

Luffy and Suta: WE WIN!!!

Zoro: NO YOU DON'T!!!!

Luffy and Suta: (throws more)

Zoro: 3 for now.

-back on the Going Merry-

Luffy and Suta: (struts around) THAT WAS THE BEST DATE EVA!!!

Zoro: (death glare)

Luffy and Suta: I mean!... THAT PINECONE FIGHT EVA!!! AND WE WON!!!

Zoro: (SUPER DEATH GLARE)

Luffy and Suta: We're dead now aren't we?

Zoro: OH YEA!!! (chases them)

Luffy and Suta: GAH!!!


	8. Hot Chocolate

Disclaimer: We don't own One Piece! Oda-sensei does.

I drew this really fast during church. Let me tell you about when i get hyper!! on second thought just read the story!! (i dont own OP bugs bunny or shrek) ENJOY!!! CC&C ALWAYS WELCOME!!!

Ok this is the story:

Luffy and Suta: (slurp) AHHH!!! HOT!!! (slurp) AHHHH!!!! HOTTTT[ets

Zoro: (wearing pink bra) HI

De-Ji: GAHHHHHHH!!! (rips off bra and throws it into the fire) THATS THE SECOND TODAY!!!

Zoro: Why do you care they're not yours.

De-Ji: YES THEY ARE!!!

Zoro: Prove it.

De-Ji: I WROTE MY NAME ON IT!!

Zoro: (looks down) OH CRAP!!!

De-Ji: SEE!!!

Zoro: uh..no! I saw a spot!!

De-Ji: YEA RIGHT!!! (chases Zoro)

Zoro: (loses De-Ji) Lets try this again. HI

Santa Claus: (wearing a red bra with white fur) HI

Zoro and De-Ji: GAHHHHH!!! MY EYES!!!!

Luffy and Suta: (jumps onto Santa's lap)

Suta: I WANT A PONY!! A PONY!!!

Luffy: I WANT A SHOTGUN!!

Santa: You'll shoot you're eye out kid!!

Luffy: (wearing eye patch) How did you guess??

Nami: I think you guys are high.

Luffy and Suta: WhAt MaKeS yOu SaY tHaT?? (stumbles around) WE'RE JUST HIGH ON OURSELVES!! (cuts off finger and lights them)

De-Ji and Zoro: O.O

De-Ji: and i thought Zoro's bra obsession was weird.

Nami: Oh i dont know JUST THE FACT THAT ITS SNOWING INSIDE!!!

Luffy and Suta: Its not snow its SALT!! (Builds a snowman)

Nami: Then why is your saltman melting?

Luffy and Suta: Because the fire is really hot!!

Nami: NOT THAT HOT!!

Luffy: Yes it is! (puts hand in fire) SEE!! AHHHH!!!! IM ON FIRE IM ON FIRE!!!

Suta: I'LL GET THE FIRE EXTINGUISHER!!! (gets the fire ex.)

(sprays Nami) Oops... i missed...

Elmer Fudd: MAGIC HELMET!!!

Nami: You are SO DEAD.

Luffy: FIREWATERFIREWATERFIREWATER!!!! (tackles Snowman) ahhhhhhh...

Nami: SEE!! IT IS SNOW!!

Suta: I'LL SHOW YOU SNOW!! (sprays her with the fire extinguisher)

Nami: AHHH!!! MY EYES!!!

Elmer Fudd: MAGIC HELMET!!!

Luffy and Suta: ELMER MEET FLAMING CHAINSAW!! (chases him)

Elmer Fudd: SHHHH!! BE VERY QUIET THEY'RE HUNTING ELMERS!!!

Santa: (wearing bikini) (poses) I am so HOTT!!

Pinocchio: I WET MY PANTS!! MY WOODEN PAINTED PANTS!!!


	9. The Future

Disclaimer: We don't own One Piece! Oda-sensei does.

Luffy Suta and De-Ji: YAY!!! CARNIVAL!!

Zoro: Eh.

Fortune Teller: Would you like me to read your future?

Luffy Suta and De-Ji: OOOOOOO!! YEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAH!!

Zoro: (suspicious look)

Fortune teller: here we go. (waves hands over crystal ball)

(luffy Suta De-Ji and Zoro in the future as old people (scary thought isn't it?))

Suta: (scraggily voice)YOU'RE MISSING SPONGEBOB WOMAN!!

De-Ji: (old woman voice) IM WORKING ON IT!

Suta: I TOLD YOU TO GET YOUR DRINK YOUR TWO HOURS AGO!!

De-Ji: (walks SLOWLY)

Suta: LUNGE WOMAN LUNGE!!

De-Ji: (Lunges)

Suta: I WAS JUST KIDDING!!!

De-Ji: MY HIP!!! TOLD YOU WE SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN LIFE ALERT!!

Suta: That went out of business a LONG time ago.

De-Ji: Still.

Zoro: (calls from the bedroom) Idiots.

Suta: Hey! We should go beat Zoro's butt off!! That would be fun!! (has a board)

De-Ji: He lost his butt a long time ago.

Suta: TMI dude!

Grand son: You guys are lame!

Suta: ILL SHOW YOU LAME!! ((CRACK)) AHH!! MY BACK!!! Get me cane!!

De-Ji: Nice job now neither of us can drive us to the hospital!!!

Suta: Says you.

De-Ji: Luffys eatin'

Suta: and Zoro wont get off his butt.

De-Ji: his butt is gone, it went flat a long time ago. And soggy.

Suta: again TMI DUDE!!!

Luffy: WHEEEEE!! (rolling around in wheel chair) ACK!! (choked by his dentures)

De-Ji: GET READY FOR SOME ACTION SUTA!!

Suta: I thought your back was broken!

De-Ji: With this many layers of skin-

Suta: Wrinkly skin.

De-Ji: yes wrinkly skin-

Suta: And liver spotted. And warty

De-Ji: yes wrinkly warty and liver spotted skin I have four backs.

Suta: (singing about liver spots and warts) Ok hunch back of notre dame!

De-Ji: Don't call me that!

Luffy: (still choking)

De-Ji: OI!! LUFFY'S STILL CHOKING YA KNOW!!

Suta: SWALLOW IT LUFFY!! SWALLOW it!!

Luffy: ((GULP))

Suta: That's going to be some poop tonight!

De-Ji: At least he can stretch his butt.

Suta: ew.

De-Ji: You would know.

Suta: EWWW!!

De-Ji: Quite being so childish!!

Suta: YOU!!

Luffy: WHEEEE!!

Zoro: I HAVE FULLFILLED MY FANTASY!! I HAVE BECOME THE SEAWEED MONSTER!!!

Luffy: MONSTER?!!! (attacks Zoro)

De-Ji: Yep he lost his mind again.

Suta: GIVE HIM THE LEFT!! THE LEFT!!

De-Ji: STOP IT OR I'LL CALL YOUR DADS AND HAVE THEM GROUND YOU!!

Suta: (holds up a raisin) Is this what they look like?

De-Ji: YOU'RE NOT HELPING!!

((((END)))))

Fortune teller: I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE!! I QUIT!! I'LL GO BECOME A BANKER OR SOMETHING!!!

Luffy Suta and Luffy: ... LETS GO FLY A KITE!! UP TO THE HIGHEST HEIGHT!!! (skips off)

Zoro: (sweatdrop) OI...


End file.
